Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky