cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week