Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
love makes seman taste better
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
