Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
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Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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