Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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