i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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