You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
its liver damage thursday
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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