You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
