Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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