Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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