Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize