Buhtt sex?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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