it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
