Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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