where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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