In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
