i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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