There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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