Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
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i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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