Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
