:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My ATM looks so different sober.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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