I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
