I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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