I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
