dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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