just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
