i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
