if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
