This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
