Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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