i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
