she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
