it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
