u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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