Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
