You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
