There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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