Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
