he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
