margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
