Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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