my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
