Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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