hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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