I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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