Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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