is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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