Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
