my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What drink are we having for lunch?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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