I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
