i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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