i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
