I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
