So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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