What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
