I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My vagina just recognized that song.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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