i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
