i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
