so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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