hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
