he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize