I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
