You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
