thus making me awesome and them whores
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
